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Hi. We just moved my grandma to ALF and I've noticed that she doesn't get her teeth brushed daily and sometimes she's in the same clothing for two days. She has dementia and the staff say she declined, but she will always decline, if asked. What are reasonable expectations for care in these areas? She also has mild dementia. I want to give her and the staff time for adjustment, but I also want to be sure she's getting the care needed. I go daily to visit and she's been there a week.

I had this same issue. My family member was sent to a skilled nursing after a hospital stay. In one week he hadn't had a shower, the only clothes he was on are the ones I put him in or helped him change. LIt appeared he was getting no care other then meals. I felt like I had given them enough time to adjust and it one week asked for an administrator. I vented all my concerns and the next day had a call for a meeting. When I arrived every head of whatever department was there. They actually said in the meeting when family is around they get better care! It turned around immediately and it's much better, but I still stay on it. If you don't advocate for them, they slip through the cracks.
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Reply to Jules3869
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A week isn't long. Sometimes dementia patients are frightened and become combative in new situations. Is she one of those? That shouldn't keep her from getting care because staff should know how to handle it, but learning more about her difficulties might give you better insight into what's going on.
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Reply to Fawnby
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There’s nothing wrong with kindly stating your concerns to the director. Be sure to also state some areas you’re pleased with and your appreciation for the staff
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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ALs don't usually take Dementia patients that need this much care. She should have a care plan. When she was admitted was she given an evaluation for services? In my Moms AL care needed was from 1 to 4. Mom was a 4. She needed help dressing, toileting and showering and getting down to dining room. She could feed herself.

In Moms care plan she got showered 2x a week. Anymore and I would have had to pay. I know they helped Mom with brushing because she hit an aide with her toothbrush. Thats how they knew she had a UTI. When Mom lived with me. I put the toothpaste on her brush and handed it to her. She brushed her own teeth. They always asked her if she wanted to shower, etc. I told them if they ask she will say No. Just do it. "P we are going to the bathroom". "P time for a shower".

By law, they can't force residents to do anything. But they should know how to coax them. When Mom was in LTC, the aide told me Mom was not brushing her teeth. I asked the aide if she put the toothpaste on the brush and handed it to Mom. I got that deer in the headlights look. Meaning, she didn't.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I'm often 'in the same clothing for two days' myself. How much of a problem is this really?
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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