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If he were having happy delusions, I'd be fine with that, but he keeps saying that there's some woman with several children that he has somehow wronged and they're going to come and hurt him unless we give her money.
I certainly don't want to agree with him. Any suggestions?

It just might help if you tell that you have had new locks fitted to all the doors, with alarms that go straight to the police. If you can, fake an “alarm” that he can hear, and say that unless it goes off then the intruders have got the message about the police and have stopped being a problem.

Chances are that it won’t really solve the problem, but it might give you a “line” to use.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Is he on meds for anxiety or dementia? My mom cycles through scary delusions. I've noticed they seem to align with a UTI or stomach bug. Once she is beyond that she seems to go back to calmer delusions. Currently, after three UTIs this year she thinks "men" are living in her facility and are trying to kill her. None of her meds have changed, and I'm hoping this will fade once again. I think it had been over a year since her last delusion of a group of people colluding to harm her. She has been on psych meds for 2 and 1/2 years. At the beginning she was terrified, near tears. Now she is less frightened when she has these delusions. I never agree with her, but reassure her she is safe where she is and no one can get to her.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Has he been to a neurologist for a diagnosis on type of dementia? I assume they are visual only? What time of the day does this usually happen?

This sounds exactly like Lewy Body Dementia rather than standard anxiety. In LBD, visual spatial issues create the hallucination (the woman at the window), and frontal lobe damage creates a 'story' to explain it (owing her money).

Treating this as basic anxiety with standard sedatives can be dangerous for LBD patients. Instead, try environmental fixes like drawing the curtains to break the visual anchor, and use 'therapeutic fibbing' to resolve the guilt such as “I paid her, she is happy and went home”. If it continues, they need to see a neurologist who understands cholinesterase inhibitors, not just an anxiety script.

Remember that temporary peace is victory. If you try to make him deny seeing her, he will lose trust in you.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Speak to his doctor about calming medications. You don't want this to progress that he sees you as an enemy and harms you
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Reply to MACinCT
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