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My parents didn't need to have my permission but they did ask -- actually I suggested it, after my Dad was the executor for a distant aunt (second wife of his uncle who had died many years ago, but he was still named) and it was a huge hassle for him. I told my Dad at the time the best thing could do, having gone through that, was for him and my Mom get their wills in order, and they went to a lawyer and got everything sorted. He asked if I would take POA and I said yes, though I didn't have to do anything or sign anything in their state. It's not always been the best, since then, but I am so glad he has a POA (even if sometimes I wish it wasn't me)
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Reply to oldestdaught73
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I explained to my mom that she needed me to be her financial POA so I could see to selling her house and paying her bills. She agreed. She refused for me to have medical POA, but her doctors still talk with me when needed. A notary witnessed the signing and I had it filed with the county and at her bank. The bank wanted time to run it through their lawyers, which they did and then added me to the account. With POA I sold her house and car, both for more than she thought she could get. I also discontinued her debit card as she had given it to several people including a scammer online. In my state no lawyer is needed for POA. I followed state guidelines and used their forms including special ones for the sale of property.
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Reply to JustAnon
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My father died in 2006. Shortly after that my Mom had her Will updated. At that time POA was discussed, and as the sibling who lives close by and the oldest, my Mom assigned me as her Financial and Medical POA.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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When I became POA for my dad I had to sign documents and they were notarized. This was done in his lawyer’s office. Rules may vary by state.
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I'm not sure what angle you wish to discuss, but here where I live (in MN) one cannot assign someone as PoA without their knowledge and agreement (mostly because they have to be present and sign the notarized document).

For both my Mom and MIL, we adult children had to move the PoA assignment issue forward or I'm not sure they would have done it. My husband and I took care of this early on for our own PoA assignment, discussing it with out adult sons (all in their 30s) because we want to minimize any trainwreck that may come our way as we age and decline.

If you're concerned that your parent isn't dealing with getting their legal ducks in a row, I encourage you to have a calm discussion with them (write yourself a script if it helps). They need to know what happens when an elder doesn't have these protections in place: they will cause all sorts of chaos in their care, not to mention in the lives of their children who care about them, and they significantly increase their risk of being assigned 3r party court-ordered guardians (which for some people is a good or only solution, but not for others).

I used to print out downloaded PoA docs for my MIL and SFIL to read and ponder. My SFIL refused to assign anyone and did indeed become a ward of a guardian (he had Parkinsons and Lewy Body dementia). He made our lives hell up until that point. He tried to "assume" us into being his only solution, his care plan, his retirement financiers (because he planned poorly and was 100% broke, didn't even own his house).
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Reply to Geaton777
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Goddatter 14 hours ago
In Minnesota, my mother assigned me as her POA, both types, at her lawyer’s, witnessed and notarized, after my father passed away. Year 2009. I was not there, and she did not tell me.

I found the POA documents among her papers about ten years later, when we were moving her into town, and promptly snagged them. I used them successfully, and with no questions, when the appropriate time arrived.

Good thing I found those papers when I did, as she got into a document destruction phase of dementia and was shredding everything (except decade’s-old bank statements - she had to have those to “prove” her money was being stolen).
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My parents did not file POAs.

My aunt named me POA without discussing it with me. However, that POA was only to make decisions when she was incapacitated. I had no idea she had added me until she called me afterwards and told me.

First of all, I'm squeamish when it comes to stuff like that. I told her I couldn't do it, and not only that, she had other family closer by her that she chose to move nearer to. Her response was, "Well, too late. I filed it already with the lawyer ".

Each time I would talk to her, I would tell her I didn't want it and beg her, almost to remove me and name someone else, but it went on deaf ears.

The family close by found out that I was her POA, and it became a real nuisance. Every time I looked, they were calling me (I live out of state from all of them) to come check on her, come stay with her, come take her to appointments, come wfh at her house. Even her neighbor told me to try to sell her house to get her in a facility. My POA did not allow me to do that. All any of them heard were those 3 words, and tag, I was it for EVERYTHING. Even aunt was trying to get me to pay for EVERYTHING on her behalf with my own money. She KNEW she did not name me financial POA and she knew I could only act with a doctor declaring her incapacitated. She refused to be evaluated.

I couldn't take it. I had enough. I removed myself from it through her lawyer. Aunt is miffed, cousins are miffed because I am free of it, and no longer the whipping girl, and I am happy and I don't ever want to hear those 3 words uttered to me again 😊.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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Yes my mother did but it was a bit at my insistence as her life was falling apart around her with her "in charge" of it.

A lawyer drew up the document and made sure she was of relatively sound mind and trusted me to act in her best interests.

I began the process of correcting numerous financial mistakes and working towards creating order to keep her solvent and safe.
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Reply to Riverdale
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My parents were each other's health-care power-of-attorney agents. I was the alternate for each. I don't recall that they asked me whether I wanted to do it. I was insulted when my dad said at some point that they had picked me as alternate because they thought I was the child (I have three siblings) who would be most willing to agree to pulling the plug. My parents always thought I was heartless. I am not.
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Reply to Rosered6
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