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Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.

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That was actually my issue with my friend last week, she knows that I support human rights. I did know she didn't support LGBTQ, people, I just didn't know the depth of her hatred. We chose not to discuss it, now it all came out.

I found out its very deep, I just don't think I can be friends with some that has so much hate in her heart.

My younger brother, is the evil one you talk about bundle.
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Bundle, I really agree with trust your gut.

How many times in my life I've met someone and was thinking, 🤔 hummmm, but ignored my gut, only to find out later that I should of listened to my gut

I also strongly agree with if they come on too strong. I met a lady during the pandemic, was lonely , she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with her. I did, she said things like , we are best friends now and we are going to do this and that. My red flags went up and I never did anything with her again.

People that come on too strong are a huge red flag.

My sister will be alone in a room with me, agree with everything I say, and then I hear her alone with my brother agree with everything he says. Me and my older brother are on complete opposite sides of the fence. We have learned to not discuss curtain issues, and do well , navigating are differences, but my sister agreeing with both sides is another huge red flag for me. That she is not real or trust worthy
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Thanks a lot!
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hey here i am,

the best advice i’ve seen against toxic/fake/narcs/sociopaths:

from an article:

How can you tell if someone is evil?

Believe me, they almost always pose as the angel of light and since they are brilliant actors, they MAY quickly pass through your radar.

I have dealt with some and believe me, I never suspected the depth of their evilness until I got the hit. Then a new individual surfaced full of such hatred that to me is not human. It is just too deep.

Let me give you some clues how to detect them:

Always lead your life on full alert. Your radar must be on 24/7 because if you are not, they will create devastation without you even realizing what they are really doing.

Never trust anyone unless that person has PROVED he/she can be trusted. Test people for your own safety.

Listen to your gut ALWAYS. If your gut says beware, then run for your life. Your gut is right and you are wrong.

Whenever you feel in conflict, that is your mind wants to take you one direction and your heart somewhere else, ALWAYS listen to your head. Simply because your heart may easily take you to suicide.

Learn about narcissism. It may be life saving for you. Anyone who gaslights, guilt trips, rages or wishes to play the victim role, must be removed from your life. No ifs and no buts.

Evil people are normally charmers. Without your knowledge, they can manipulate your love hormones out the roof. Believe it because I am not joking. And they have the same effect on children too. I watched it happen with my own eyes.

Play safe. Today with internet, life is becoming dangerous. Stop trusting strangers. Do not chat with anyone that you do not know in flesh.

Narcissists are already in your living room, the minute you switch on your internet. Beware.

If you want to date, beware of prince/princess charming. The story always starts like a fairy tale and ALWAYS ends with hell on Earth.

A normal human being always, always takes dating gradually. Simply because there are real risks. Anyone being INTENSE, MEANS YOU SHUT OFF THAT PERSON OUT OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT GIVING ANY EXPLANATIONS. Why? The manipulation has already started.

Teach your children life skills. Do not let them walk beside vans that can open their doors on the side. Too many kids have been pulled inside whilst they were innocently walking to school.

Stop giving supply to evil people. They enjoy seeing us tormented and angry. To them that means they have power over us. Their ability to change our mood and give us a bad day. No reaction is best.

Evil people are all master manipulators. You do not have an evil mind and so, you can never be a match whether that is revenge or whatever.

Beware of emotional connections. Narcissists want a fast emotional connection because they know that once they have that to us, we are SNARED sometimes forever. Listen to advice from people who love you, especially if you are young. They lived longer and have better life experience.
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Thanks bundle of joy! 😁
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hey here i am,

here are some useful quotes!

"A real situation will always expose a fake friend."

"Having fake friends is like having a broken umbrella -
unless when it rains."
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Right! No room for fake.
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Hereiam, no room for fake in are lives, friends come and go through our are life.

It's just a fact of life
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Thanks Nacy. Definitely not alcohol or drugs. Just a conman. Some people are good at acting. But the true nature comes out. Nacy, I hope things get resolved with your “friend”. Personally, I prefer to know who my friends are. I’m glad my “friend” revealed his true colors now rather than later.
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Hereiam, sorry about that, kinda funny, I just got really upset at a friend this week, and I feel like maybe I got more upset than I should have.

Maybe there is an alcohol or an addiction issue with your friend?

It is hard , we are in an era that loneliness is an epidemic, and loneliness is very unhealthy too. I'm not sure if it's age or every age. I got rid of my friends that abuse alcohol because, I just can't handle them anymore. It's not and easy time for a lot of people, your not alone
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I have looked at myself. Several friends just confirmed that he has done the same to them. Sometimes it’s not easy to realize someone is a conman from day one.
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You might like to look at yourself, and think about whether and why you decided this person was your friend? It might think about 'true colors' on both sides?
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I have changed my mind. I’ve thought about it, and I think the sudden behavior of my “friend” is - not - because he’s bipolar, has some problem, or is stressed. I think he just suddenly showed his true colors: he’s a jerk.

It’s like that quote:
“When people show you who they are, believe them.”
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Hi Nacy, you and I don’t know each other. I’m a man. I take care of my elderly sister. The “friend” is a man. I think you might be right, maybe he has bipolar or some other problem. His sudden, extreme change in personality is weird. It’s a 180 change in personality.
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I'm sorry, hereiam nevermind I looked your name up , you are not the person I thought you may be.

It just freaked me out a little,

Maybe your friend is bipolar?

Very sorry, it just made me wonder
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Hereiam, btw do I know you? Or do you know me? I am having an issue with a friend, I'm trying to explain to her that her , anger towards a certain type of person is not healthy, and all she is doing is holding a hot stone , I'm explaining it to her for her own health and happiness, and she is mad at me.

Maybe I'm really being paranoid, but are you her?
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There was no argument, nothing like that. It’s like they have two personalities. A soft side. An aggressive side, for no reason. This “friend” suddenly turned against me and showed me their mean streak. Guess I better protect myself and stay away.
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I agree Margaret, but I'm just thinking of to old friends, on opposing side , visiting, I'm not sure if there is enough hurricanes to keep that conversation going for too long.

It's getting rather lonely, for me here in the states. I can not talk politics, I manage really well with that, avoiding subject that may start something.

But I don't do so well handling it when others talk about things I feel very strongly about, I can't seem to shut my mouth then.

So pretty much staying to myself. I just want elections over.
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The book I’ve just read suggested talking about the weather, if you know that you and the person you are talking to might disagree. The weather changes every day, and everyone has a ‘worst ever weather’ story.
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Margaretken, I was actually going to say that, about politics, it's a very difficult time, specially if 2 friends are on opposite sides. With many strong feelings on each side
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Perhaps you talked about politics?
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hereiam-----------did you ASK them?
If you asked them "Why have you given up our friendship" and they haven't the courtesy to reply to you, then really it isn't worth a single second of your thought.
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Unexpected “friend” turned against me. I’m feeling upset and shocked; confused why the “friend” did this. I wonder what they’re trying to get out of behaving that way. I feel like a scapegoat. Maybe that’s what they’re trying to do.
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That's a good idea I'll leave little bowls of vinegar in the kitchen! That's a great idea. There is one corner that I'm not having the energy to clean right now. So I'll set one near there.

I think I found the culprit. In NYS we don't use disposable plastic bags, so I have a crate of reusable bags, next to my crate of potatoes. Well 👍 found what I suspect was once a potato in the bottom of my reusable supermarket bags.

Think it's going to be a bit before I can get them all out, but I did get an awful lot of cleaning done. 😆
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Nacy I second what way said - little bowls of vinegar. I found they prefer white dishes. If they are fruit flies, that will get rid if them over a few days to a week or so. I believe fruit flies can come in on your groceries.

I hear you about the pipe replacement. One year they replaced pipes in front of the house and before they had finished that also behind the house in the lane. It was noise pollution. I couldn't get away from it anywhere. At the same time the reno guys were removing the stucco from the side of the house before putting on vinyl siding. Arrrgh!!!! It was awful and very dusty.
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Even my soap gets dirty, feeling like I've been camping for 5 months now
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Thanks Willie, it's been a weird year, town putting new water pipes in, constant dirt, trucks, squirrels. It's disrupted are whole , everything.

Had a break for a month or so , they were on the other side of town, but there back. 🥴
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Hm, drain flies are another kind of annoyance. For that keep your drains covered and maybe try one of those enzyme drain cleaners
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That's a good idea, I spray some of my outdoor plants with vinegar and dish soap and water, I'll do that too.
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Try putting bowls of vinegar with alittle dishwashing soap in it . It works for fruit flies anyway . They get attracted to it and get stuck in the liquid.
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